


Learn to fall down again

by BarbAndCo



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Established Relationship, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Recovery, hurt!Sokka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26494012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarbAndCo/pseuds/BarbAndCo
Summary: The trauma from the attack compounded with his former leg injury during Sozin’s comet will make rehabilitation much more difficult. At least that’s what Katara says after doing extensive tests.“Do you want me to call Zuko?” she asks.“No, don’t.” he says after a moment. He looks anywhere but her eyes. “Don’t tell him.”
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 478





	Learn to fall down again

**Author's Note:**

> original prompt: Zukka with Izumi first learning to walk down stairs
> 
> I remembered that scene from Doom Patrol and tried my hand at sad stuff. originally posted [ here ](https://firelord-boomerang.tumblr.com/post/629234861313589248/zukka-with-izumi-first-learning-to-walk-down)

The trauma from the attack compounded with his former leg injury during Sozin’s comet will make rehabilitation much more difficult. At least that’s what Katara says after doing extensive tests.

“Do you want me to call Zuko?” she asks.

“No, don’t.” He swallows thickly. “Don’t tell him.”

* * *

Sokka stands at the bottom of the practice stairs, his knuckles turning white as he grips the railings. It’s been a hard couple of months. He’s had some of his mobility back but not enough. He can walk with a cane but there’s a lot of work ahead of him.

He’s standing so still his legs are starting to hurt. 

“It helps if you envision a place you want to go,” the healer says. Something about the calmness of her tone and her endless patience makes Sokka mad.

“How about up the fucking steps?” he spits out.

“That’s enough, Sokka.” Katara steps in the room and dismisses the healer, who sighs and shakes her head at him before exiting. Most of the healers in the Southern Water Tribe have experienced Sokka’s outbursts and continuously souring mood.

“Really, Sokka?” Katara crosses her arms. “You’ve been yelling at the healers all day.”

“It’s a coping mechanism.”

“You’re being a jerk,” she bites back.

“Oh, am I?” His voice is absolutely dripping with venom.

“I know you’re hurting, right now and therapy is hard but...” Katara feels for her brother, she does. If she can find a way to magically make everything all right again, then she would in a heartbeat.

“But all we can do is take it one day at a time,” Sokka finishes her thought. “You’ve said that a million times.”

“I know it’s not what you want to hear.” Katara puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder but he shrugs her hand off.

Sokka has been here for months. It took weeks before he could stand on his own and another just to get himself moving. He’s tired.

“It’s going to get better,” she promises. “You just have to keep trying.”

Sokka doesn’t want to hear it. He steps back from the practice steps and grabs his cane. He needs to get out of here. Out of this room, away from the sterile walls of the healing center. He needs to get back to work.

“Zuko called again today,” she says as she trails after him.

Ever since Sokka stopped answering the phone, Zuko calls Katara non-stop asking about him. He feels immensely guilty about it but the alternative is much worse in his opinion. He wants to believe that by putting even more distance between them will make it hurt less-- he’s still not sure for who.

“What did you say?” he asks, already dreading the answer.

“I told him you were improving everyday,” Katara says.

“Thanks for lying to him, I guess.” He stops to catch his breath. They’re already halfway to the house but he’s already winded. Walking from his house to the healers used to be no time at all and now it’s one of the hardest parts of his day.

“It’s the truth.” Katara stands in front of him. Sokka feels like they’ve done this before. They probably have. “Pushing yourself is only going to make things harder.”

“I know.” Sokka needs to slow down his breathing. He needs to focus on getting his legs working like they used to.

“Have you talked to the therapist?” Katara has been bringing up the therapist for ages.

“No.” Sokka is getting a little sick of it to be honest. Although, he’s been getting annoyed about a lot of things these days.

“You should go.”

“So, you’ve told me.” 

“Sokka,” she says his name almost like a plea.

That makes Sokka stop in his tracks. 

“I’ll think about it,” he replies after a moment and heads to the house.

* * *

Nights are even harder for Sokka these days. Sleep is even more difficult to come by when the memory of what happened makes itself known over and over again in his subconscious.

Sokka wakes up from yet another nightmare, gasping for air. The attack felt so fresh, the screams and the bloodshed still filling his ears. He reaches over to the other side of the bed to be met with nothing but cold air. The night becomes even more unbearable. He sits up and tries to slow the rapid beating of his heart. 

He grabs hold of the betrothal necklace around his neck, the only thing anchoring him to the present. It’s the next best thing.

Sleep evades him tonight, just like all the nights since the incident, so he goes to his study instead of trying to rest. Drowning himself in work is a familiar crutch. He wastes the night away drafting letters to foreign dignitaries and drawing blueprints.

He ignores the ever growing pile of unread letters on the far side of his office. 

* * *

The next day, Sokka finds himself talking to Healer Kira, Katara’s recommended therapist. He’s heard about her before from other soldiers during the war. She’s helped a lot of their men get better. He doubts she could help him.

“Tell me about your daughter,” she asks after she tried getting him to talk about how he’s actually doing to no avail.

“Why do you want to know?”

“You haven’t seen her in a while.” She spreads her hands in front of her. “You must miss her.”

“I do,” he admits. “She’s growing up so fast.”

“You haven’t been to the Fire Nation in a while.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“So, tell me about her,” she says patiently.

Sokka, like most doting fathers, wants to jump at the chance to gush about his baby girl. But a particular memory comes bubbling up to the surface.

“I remember a time when she was figuring out how to walk,” he says.

“Go on.”

“When Izumi was small-- well smaller than she is now-- she was so adventurous. She’d wobble all over the palace and me and Zuko would try to keep up.” Sokka stares off into the distance as he reminisces. “But she was always scared of the stairs. We didn’t know why, maybe it was because they were so huge. The palace is filled with dramatic staircases so you could see why that’s a problem.”

“What happened next?”

“She’d always call me for help and I’d come running. I’d hold her hands and we’d go up and down the steps together.” He smiles at the memory. “Even when she could do it by herself she’d call for me over and over. And I’d always come running.”

“Why do you think she called for you still?” she asks.

“I don’t know…” Sokka thinks for a moment. “Maye because she was still scared of tripping? She knew that if I was there, I wouldn’t let her fall.”

“You used to go back at least once a month to the Fire Nation,” the healer says it more as a statement rather than a question. “Why not go now? I’m sure they have wonderful healers in the palace.”

“They don’t need to have this burden.”

“Do they know about your current condition?”

“No.” Sokka sighs, defeated. There’s no use lying. “I told them I got hurt but they don’t know the full extent.”

“Sokka, I implore you to please consider my words.” Healer Kira fixes him with a serious look. “Pushing away the people you love most does more harm than good, both to you and to them. Figure out who you’re really protecting and ask yourself if it’s worth all the pain it’s causing everyone.”

* * *

Zuko has never felt quite so helpless as he does now staring blankly outside his window. Considering the life he’s led that’s definitely saying something.

“Is everything alright, Firelord Zuko?” one of his advisors asks him. Concern was written all over her features but the Firelord was far too distracted to take note of it.

“Yes,” he says quickly. “Everything is fine. Apologies. I’m a bit distracted today. What were you saying?”

“I think we should adjourn today’s meeting.” Adviser Juri has already packed up her scrolls. “You’re disctracted. There’s something troubling you.”

“I assure you, I’m perfectly capable--” Zuko starts to say but Adviser Juri has put up her hand.

“Capable and alright are two different things, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I suppose,” he concedes.

“How long has Ambassador Sokka been in the Southern Water Tribe?” Adviser Juri is very good at her job and she recognizes when it’s time to prod the Firelord when something is amiss with him.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.” Zuko’s demeanor turns cold all of a sudden. He closes off by straightening his posture and schooling his features into something smooth and stoic.

“Let me rephrase then,” she continues. “How long has your husband and father of your child been away since the attack?”

Zuko was silent for a moment, the quiet overbearing.

“Long,” he says after a while. “He’s been gone a long time.”

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“Thank you for your concern Adviser Juri, but there’s nothing to be done about it.” He stands up and hastily goes to the exit. He doesn’t want to talk about this.

“Firelord Zuko,” she calls after him, not bothering to get up from her seat. 

He turns around expectantly. 

She smiles kindly and gives her advice, “There’s always something to be done. Always.”

* * *

Zuko watches as Izumi crafts another one of her letters to Sokka. He appreciates Sokka’s effort to reply to her messages at least--although short as they may be. Around the same time this year, Sokka would stay at the palace. Now, he just said he couldn’t make it and left it at that. No explanation. Izumi has been asking about it non-stop and Zuko doesn’t know what to tell her.

“Papa, when’s Dad coming home?” Izumi asks sleepily. It’s been like this for weeks ever. Every night before she falls asleep, she’d ask him and Zuko’s heart would break over and over again.

“Soon,” he lies. He didn’t know when Sokka was coming back. “I hope.”

“I hope so too,” she murmurs before falling asleep.

It’s been weeks since Sokka so much as returned a letter. His husband stopped answering his calls and when he does it’s quick and curt. Sokka would take calls if Izumi was on the other end but those were cut short too. To say that Zuko is worried is an understatement.

As Zuko goes to bed and looks at the empty space beside him, he finally makes up his mind. The next day, he tells his staff to prepare a ship for a quick trip to the South pole. 

He’s done waiting.

* * *

Sokka stares at the steps again. He’s lost count of how many days he’s been stuck like this.

“Nothing is going to happen if you just keep staring at it,” Katara says.

He’s done the exercises for the day and he does have the energy to do more. But does he want to fail again? To fall and set back whatever progress he’s made?

“Not today.” He shakes his head.

After a moment’s silence Katara says, “Zuko’s here by the way.”

“What?” He feels his throat closing up, his chest squeezing tightly. “He can’t be here. Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because if I did you’d just run away!” Katara doesn’t mean to raise her voice but she can’t stand to see her brother like this anymore. “You can’t keep them away forever, Sokka!”

“That’s my decision to make!” Sokka yells back.

“So you really have been avoiding me.” Zuko steps into the scene. Sokka’s back was turned to him, he could only see the tense shoulders and defeated posture.

Katara straightens up. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

Thank you, Zuko mouths to her as she leaves.

Sokka hasn’t seen Zuko in so long and he’s afraid to look up. Afraid of what he might see. But when he does finally lift his head, the vision of Zuko takes his breath away--just like it always has. Instead of pity, he sees fury in those gorgeous golden eyes. Zuko’s handsome features are twisted in anger. 

“You didn’t tell me about this.” Zuko doesn’t cross the room. He stands in the doorway just watching.

“What are you doing here?” Sokka wants to hate himself a little more. Their reunion wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

He was supposed to arrive at the palace, fully healed and run up to his husband and daughter and they’d embrace each other and it would be like the past few months never happened. Zuko wasn’t supposed to see him struggling to walk up some fucking stairs. 

“What are you doing here?!” He doesn’t mean to shout but he does.

Not taken aback by Sokka’s outburst Zuko shouts back, “I’m here for you!”

“You shouldn’t have come.” Sokka is curt, his words meant to hurt. Maybe if he says just the wrong thing Zuko will leave.

“We haven’t seen you in months.” Zuko wants to reach out but he doesn’t know how. He’s not sure if his touch would be welcome. “Izumi asks about you every night.”

“I don’t want you to see me like this,” he says quietly almost a whisper.

“Like what?”

“Weak. She doesn’t--” his voice breaks. “She can’t see me like this Zuko, please.”

“Sokka.”

“I can barely walk. I can’t get past a set of stairs. I am miserable.” He looks away. “Please, Zuko I don’t want anyone to see me like this, especially you.”

“No.”

“What?” Sokka snaps his head back to Zuko, who looks determined.

“You’ve had your months of pushing us away.” Zuko crosses the distance between them. “I’m not just going to sit on my hands and wait for you to come home.”

“You can’t force me back.” Sokka glares.

Zuko meets it with quiet understanding. “I’m not going to.”

Sokka searches Zuko’s eyes.

“We’re going to stay right here.” Zuko holds Sokka’s face in his hands. “We’re not leaving you.”

Sokka stares at Zuko for a moment and his husband looks unwavering back. He grips Zuko’s forearms and finally lets himself get pulled in. Tucking himself into Zuko’s embrace, he lets himself break down.

Zuko only tightens his hold and says. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

Sokka is fidgeting in his seat. 

He and Zuko got back from the center and have been catching up-- in every way that mattered-- all afternoon. It doesn’t fix things completely. Not right away. But it’s a start and it’s as good as any. He lost track of how many times he’s told Zuko he was sorry and how much he missed him.

Zuko squeezes Sokka’s hand. “Relax.”

“Easy for you to say,” he grumbles.

Izumi and his dad would be back any minute with Hakoda any minute now and Sokka doesn’t know what to do.

“What if she hates me now?” he chews his bottom lip. “What do I do if my own daughter hates me?”

“Impossible,” Zuko says. “She’s done nothing the past weeks but ask when you’re coming back to the palace and if you were okay and would sending your favorite pillow make you feel better.”

“She’s a sweet kid.” Sokka smiles.

“And she loves you very much.” Zuko kisses Sokka’s temple. “It’ll take more than a few weeks’ worth of short calls to make her hate you.”

“What if she doesn’t remember what I look like?”

“She’s five not a gold koi fish.”

Before Sokka could dig himself deeper in his anxiousness, Hakoda and Izumi walk through the doors carrying all sorts of stuff.

“Welcome back,” Zuko says.

“Daddy!” Izumi squeals running to Sokka. She jumps up and wraps her arms around her dad’s head squishing their faces together.

“Hi, Izumi.” Sokka hugs her back.

“I got you a present,” she says, eyes twinkling.

“You did?” Sokka tries not to burst into tears again.

“Yeah! Wait here, okay?” 

“Okay.”

Izumi runs to the many bags of new stuff they bought. Hakoda will probably get asked once again to please not spoil her too much and the man will ask why he can’t buy nice things for his granddaughter. Zuko, Sokka, and Hakoda are currently at a stalemate.

Izumi runs back to Sokka and presents her gift. “It’s a boomerang!”

And it was. A play boomerang used for practice with glued on glitter and googly eyes.

“I made it funny,” she says proudly.

Zuko hides his face in Sokka’s shoulder as he tries to keep his composure.

Sokka feels like his chest was going to explode, he was so happy. “I love it.”

* * *

It’s been a few days since Zuko and Izumi have arrived in the South Pole and Sokka feels immeasurably better. He’s still struggling but having his family there to support him makes the work easier. 

He still hasn’t gone up the stairs.

“You’re in better spirits,” Healer Kira points out.

“My husband and daughter are here,” he explains. 

She smiles at that.

“Oh, don’t give me that.” Sokka wags his finger at her. “You’re right. Having my support system here makes everything better and my fears are unfounded. You happy now?”

“That one of my patients has improved tremendously since I’ve last seen him?” she arches a brow. “Why yes I’m ecstatic.”

“I don’t remember you quite being as sarcastic last time.”

“How’s therapy going?”

“Fine.”

“Went up the stairs yet?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Sokka thinks for a moment. “I’m giving it time.”

+

Sokka wakes up from a nightmare, disoriented and scared. His heart is beating fast and he could feel a cold sweat run down his back. He tries to get his breathing under control but it makes everything worse. 

Zuko slips his arms around Sokka’s waist, still half asleep, and pulls him close.

“What’s wrong?” Zuko murmurs into his husband’s shoulder.

Sokka closes his eyes and let’s Zuko become his grounding presence. He lets himself be pulled closer and he rests his head on Zuko’s chest.

“It’s alright,” Zuko continues sleepily. “You’re okay.”

“Yeah,” Sokka says long after Zuko has fallen back asleep. “I’m okay.”

He’s finally starting to think that he is.

* * *

Sokka is back on the stairs. Across the room Zuko sits with Izumi on his lap, the two of them watching him.

“They shouldn’t be here,” he whispers to Katara.

“They want to support you,” she says. “At least let them try.”

“I don't want them to see me fall.” He blinks away the tears threatening to slip from his eyes. A part of him wants his family to be there for him. He wants to spend every minute with them after so long keeping them at bay.

“You won’t.” Katara squeezes her brother’s hand reassuringly and stands to the side.

Sokka takes a cautious step up the first level. He makes it shaky though he might be and so very slow. He looks at his family and they’re smiling at him, cheering him on. Another step and he falters a bit, but finds his footing.

He hesitates.

I can’t do this, he thinks gripping the sidebars tighter.

Izumi jumps out of Zuko’s lap and runs over to her dad. She climbs the steps and stands in front of him holding her hands up.

“Don’t worry, Dad.” She beams at him. “I’ll help you.”

Izumi waves her hands at him expectantly and Sokka could do nothing but take them in his. She takes a step up the stairs and he follows.

“Yeah! Like that!” She looks up. “You’re doing great!”

Sokka has a lightness in him he hasn’t felt in months. Like a weight being lifted off his chest.

“Just one more step, Daddy.” Izumi squeezes his fingers.

And he takes one more step. 

“You did it!” Izumi cheers. She hugs his legs tightly and he holds her close. He looks across the room to Zuko and Katara, who are sending them the warmest 

He’s going to be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! have a nice day/afternoon/evening!


End file.
